May 21 - A Mostly Boring Day

The one drag about the Washington Inn was that it didn't include breakfast. I did get a couple discount coupons for nearby restaurants, though. The one next door wasn't open for some reason, but another across the street advertised a buffet. Perfect, I thought.

Trouble is, in the off-season, they don't have enough traffic to support a good buffet. They only had two bread products, and both were stale. Normally I make sure to eat all I take, but normally the offerings are edible. Their idea of a corn muffin was much more like a rock. Their bacon was decent, but the eggs had a processed taste. On top of all this, juice cost extra, so the total was almost $10. I pocketed a small box of Mini-Wheats to get a bit more value for my money.

Before pulling out, I used the hotel's internet again, from the car. I finally managed to activate my SiriusXM account! I thought I had before leaving Maryland, but then it didn't work. Then I had trouble with the logistics. You have to have the radio powered up (i.e., keys in the ignition) while you're online. It's a bit tricky.

Since I was in the area, and had time, I decided to check out Jewel Cave National Park. This meant backtracking a bit, but that turned out to be a good thing. I found a spot on the road past Mt. Rushmore where you can pull off and look at George Washington's profile. That was an unexpected bonus.

Another unexpected bonus was that the route to the cave went through Custer again, and this time the Pie Place was open! (Yes, I'm obsessive about pastry.) I popped in and got a slice of blueberry for later.

Once again, my Parks pass was useless. Entering is free, but the cave tours cost money. Sigh. This time I wasn't as lucky, and had to wait most of an hour for the next tour. So I shuffled around the visitor's center, which had some interesting exhibits. 

They have samples of some of the formations found in Jewel Cave, some of which don't appear in the areas accessible to tours. I also looked over the guest book, and found an odd notation. A family that had come in shortly before me mentioned that they couldn't get on a tour, and were "very disappointed". Did they not know that there were multiple tours every day? Or did they object to waiting less than an hour? Very strange.

The tour was quite interesting, and there were quite a few large rooms to view. The passageways were also more generously sized, and the stairs were nice and even. Jewel Cave also has boxwork formations and like Wind Cave, hasn't been fully explored. The two are less than 40 miles apart, and are both estimated to be extremely long. I wouldn't be surprised at all if someday they are found to be connected.

After leaving Jewel Cave, I needed to get back onto I-90 and head further west. Looking at the map, I saw that I could take US 16 west to reach it, instead of backtracking through Rapid City. It meant missing Bear Country USA, but seemed like a better option.

I was mistaken. With the single excepting of an abandoned tourist trap, this section of Wyoming turned out to be extremely boring. The landscape is monotonous scrubland, interrupted only by identical herds of cattle. Even when you're driving at 70 or 75 MPH, it feels as if you're hardly moving. It's like one of those bad dreams where you're running down a hallway that keeps getting longer and longer for no good reason. Combine this with my general dislike of sitting still, and it's a recipe for extreme crabbiness.

It was at this point that I screwed up, and missed my chance to see Devil's Tower. To get there, I should have gone past the ramp for I-90, and stayed on US Highway 16. But I was desperate to escape the tedium, and jumped onto the interstate. By the time I realized my error, backtracking would have added something like 120 miles to the day's drive. So I kept going.

Turns out, Wyoming isn't big on rest areas, or providing tourist information. I never did find any. At one point, I saw signs for such, but they petered out at a gas station parking lot. Possibly, it was inside the station, but I was too annoyed to risk wasting time to check. So I kept going.

Eventually, I reached Sheridan, my destination for the evening. All I could see after exiting the interstate was suburban sprawl and traffic. I think I found the tourist area that's supposed to be Old Town or some such, but it didn't look much different. I didn't see any motels that looked appealing, or any place to pull off and check the AAA book. I have no interest in cowboy mythology anyway. I floated through town on the currents of traffic, and after awhile was back to I-90. So I kept going.

About this time, my gas tank was running a bit low, by western standards. The thing is, a quarter tank back East is quite sufficient to get you to a dozen gas stations. In parts of the West, they are few and far between. My first attempt was in a nameless bit of nowhere, where I got off the interstate after seeing a sign for a non-chain gas station. It turned out to have a couple of decrepit looking pumps at the far end of a vast field of cratered asphalt. I feared for both the car's undercarriage and the cleanliness of my fuel line. So I kept going.

After awhile, I spotted a Conoco station connected to the Custer Battlefield Museum in Garryowen. By this time of day, the museum would be closed, but surely a large chain would provide pay-at-the-pump service after hours. Wrong! "Card reader not available. See Attendant." Trouble was, the place was deserted. At least there was no one to complain about me using their spot-a-pot without purchase. So I kept going.

Outside Hardin, Montana, I see an Exxon, with other customers and its interior lights blazing. The first pump I approach has no nozzle, though the hose is tied into an appealing wreath shape. At this point, I would say that I circling around several times, but dodging the enormous ruts and potholes didn't allow for such a tidy shape. While tracing out a double helix, I mostly find hand-lettered signs reading "Not in service" or "Sorry out". The few operating pumps have only Premium. Eventually, another customer vacates a Regular pump, and pothole-dodges their way home. My paranoia has kicked in by now, and I don't feel comfortable using a payment card. I hand a twenty to the cashier, and ask for a receipt. Good thing I didn't try to fill up. The pump doesn't look ancient, but works extremely slowly. It took about 10 minutes to pump 8 gallons. Filling the tank would've taken an hour.

Having found a potty and filled my tank, I was able to return my thoughts to the evening's lodgings. Surely a city the size of Billings will have a good selection of motels, I thought. Once again, I was mistaken. At any rate, there are few visible from the interstate. The first one I pulled into, a Holiday Inn Express wanted $129. So I kept going.

I saw a billboard for a Best Western, and thought "They're usually reasonable". Once again, I was mistaken. After following multiple signs over several miles, I found myself downtown. Only when you reach the place does their sign inform you that it's a Best Western "Plus". Uh-oh. Sure enough, they wanted $159. So I kept going.

Driving through the city – which isn't easy, thanks to the number of one-way streets – I spotted several signs for motels. Each time, when I got closer, I saw weekly and monthly rates offered. That's never a good sign. Sure enough each one looked pretty seedy, and the area looked too creepy to leave my car unattended. The one possibly exception was one that I passed on the way to the Best Western, but could never find my way back to on the weird grid of one way streets.

Trying to find my way back to I-90, I saw a couple of motels that looked decent, but both were booked. It seems that Billings doesn't have much selection of mid-priced hotels. Odds are, you'll either pay through the nose, or risk finding a bag of severed heads under your bed. So I kept going.

At this point, I was becoming rather concerned. Billings was the last major city for miles. Back East, you find motels frequently  along major interstates, especially where they meet other major roads. That's not the case out here, however. I was already tired, it was almost 10 PM, and the nearest tourist area was a hundred miles away. Also, I hadn't eaten dinner.

At the same time, I wondered where all the truck drivers go. I know they don't spend $129 a night, and the seedy-looking places were too small to park a semi.

Then I spotted a sign for Laurel, Montana. It's less than 10 miles outside of Billings. Mercifully, it had several mid-range hotels. I ended up at the Locomotive Inn, which was located next to a huge refinery. Turns out, Laurel has been a railroad and driving hub for more than a century. It seems to be the place where many tired travelers have found refuge. So I became one of them.

I didn't even try to find an open restaurant, but just ate a cheese sandwich & munchies from my provisions. Once again, no one gave me crap about using the pool/spa after closing time. Afterward, I found a funny episode of American Dad on TV. And I had my pie for dessert. (Surprisingly, PBR pairs well with blueberry pie.) So it turned out to be a decent night after all.

Wild, wild life

I pull out of the Rocket Motel after a breakfast of yogurt and graham crackers, and head for Mount Rushmore. You just can't be in the Black Hills and not go there. Along the way, I notice that the Purple Pie Place was right down the street from the motel, and I could've easily walked there the previous evening. Alas, they don't do breakfast, so aren't open yet.

When I get to Mount Rushmore, I discover that my Parks pass isn't useful. The memorial itself is free. Parking is run by a concessionaire, and the pass doesn't apply. The parking permit is good for a full year, though.

Turns out, I missed a rather cool opportunity. Looking at the park hours, I realize that I could've gone there the previous night after the Crazy Horse Monument, and seen Mount Rushmore lit up for the evening.

The carvings are indeed very impressive. There's also a small interpretive museum, which is not to be missed. Much of it is dedicated to the "making-of" story. They have quite a few videos of the construction process, and interviews with the workmen. My favorite highlighted the "bosun chair", which was a harness they used to hang down in front of the rock. It amounted to basically a swing with a belt to keep you from falling off. Often they rode this contraption to use a jackhammer, or to lay charges of black powder explosive. It must have taken a LOT of nerve to pull that off.

The trail that goes behind the carvings isn't open for the season yet, but another one goes much closer to the carvings, and along the way, you see lots of beautiful Black Hills scenery. It also takes you to Gutzon Borglum's studio, which has some quite interesting scale models. Some depict the presidents from head to waist, as was the original plan.

Interesting historical tidbit: The Mount Rushmore monument was not dedicated until 1991, although work stopped fifty years previously. The end of the project was rather anticlimactic, due to the death of  Gutzon Borglum and the approach of World War II. They just sort of stopped working and went home.

Lunch consists of a ham sandwich that I make from my cooler & food box provisions. I eat in the car, watching my fellow tourists go by. It's a simple meal, but I enjoy it thoroughly.

Next, I head for Wind Cave. I arrive just in time to catch the next tour. We start by looking at the historic cave entrance, a hole no bigger than 2 feet in diameter. According to the National Park Service, the discoverers were two brothers who rode past this hole, and heard the wind moving through it. When one looked into the hole, his hat was blown off.

This cave isn't very well lit in places, and has rock outcroppings at head level. The stairs are uneven, and seem to have been designed by and for people with very small feet. Our guide tells us about their Adventure Tour, where you go into the unimproved parts of the cave, squeezing through openings as small as the historic entrance. The basic tour is about all I can handle, thanks just the same.

In fact, just being underground is quite adventurous enough for me. Despite my claustro tendencies, I love going into show caves. They're one of the classic tourist attractions, and I have a weakness or the classics. I enjoy myself, despite a conviction that every cave I enter is about to collapse on me. I just have to remind myself to breathe once in awhile.

In between some very deliberate deep breaths, I look over the extensive boxwork that Wind Cave is famous for. These formations are calcite that remained when the surrounding limestone was eaten away by acidic water. It's estimated that 95% of the world's boxwork is in this cave.

Our guide tells the story of how the cave went from being a privately held attraction to a National Park. Two parties were engaged in a legal battle for ownership, and went to court. The judge ruled that neither one had a legitimate claim. Both held homesteader claims to the property, but neither had made the improvements required to hold their claims. Hence, both were declared void, and the United States owned the property. I rather enjoyed hearing that greed benefited the public on at least one occasion

In addition to the cave, the National Park has more than 33,000 acres of rolling hillsides and mixed-grass prairie, and an abundance of wildlife. They also have one of the best campgrounds in the Black Hills. However, I'm unable to use it, and not because of the weather this time. It's closed at the time of my visit, due to the sequestration budget cuts. Thanks a lot, Congress.

In my wanderings, I come across a very odd road situation. In three places, construction has reduced the road to a single lane. There's no flagman, though, and not even one of those automated signals. Whoever gets there first has right of way. Presumably you take turns if there's more than one vehicle in each direction. Traffic is light enough that this actually works. If you tried that back east, drivers would be eating each other.

Moving along, I've also been told that Custer State Park is not to be missed. So along my travels, I pop into their Visitor's Center. The guide there tells me that the Wildlife Loop is one of their highlights, and includes feral burros. This sounds rather unique, so I add it to my list.

She also mentions a section of US Highway 16A called Iron Mountain Road. It was designed specifically to showcase the Black Hills scenery, and the Mount Rushmore memorial. Since it's a winding mountain road with lots of curves, one-way tunnels, and corkscrew bridges, driving it is considered a bit of an adventure. I don't want to rain on her parade, so I just make noncommittal enthusiastic noises. The fact is, mountain driving frightens me. I'm prone to vertigo in certain circumstances, so I'm always afraid I'll get dizzy and drive off of a cliff. Mentally, I make a note to avoid this like I would a skull fracture.

The Wildlife Loop lives up to its name admirably. I spot a coyote almost immediately, and soon lose count of the pronghorn, elk, and bison. 

One large herd of bison includes at least 12 calves, which are adorable. They're fuzzy, and have big noses. There's also a large prairie dog town right next to the road. It's fun to watch, but I don't get to feed them peanuts here.

One thing is missing, however. I reach the end of the Loop without spotting the feral burros. I debate going around again. It's getting late, though, and I have no accommodation for the night. So I follow the road sign toward Keystone, the closest town.

Before very long, I notice that the road is taking a lot of sharp curves and steep inclines. Turns out, THIS section of 16A is the one I'd intended to avoid. By the time I realize it, there's not much point turning back.

For awhile, I get stuck behind some poky fool from Illinois. Seriously, this guy was driving well under the speed limit for miles, passing one turnout after another. I even resorted to flashing my high beams, something I almost never do. Eventually, he catches on, and pulls off.

The road makes me nervous but I end up enjoying myself. There are several one-lane tunnels that were deliberately placed to frame the Mount Rushmore monument in the distance. I have no photos from the drive, since I was maintaining a constant white-knuckle death grip on the steering wheel.

There's a famous overlook that I passed by, partly because it was starting to get dark. But it was mostly because I was afraid that poky idiot would catch up to me.

When I arrive in Keystone, I'm relived to find quite a few Vacancy signs. I want something in walking distance of restaurants, since I'm tired of driving. The first two I try are a bit expensive, in light of the fact that neither has a pool or spa open for the season yet. Then I spot one with a pool and a spa advertising a $49.95 rate. When I ask the desk clerk, she tells me that it's only for a single person staying one night. In a resort town, that pretty much never happens. But what do you know, a bait and switch has worked in my favor! The clerk seems rather pleased at the novelty of writing up the special rate.

Amusingly, their sign also dares guests to tell the difference between their rooms and the Ritz-Carlton's. I found a few, but they were favorable in my opinion. They have normal-sized pillows, for a start, instead of those annoying trendy square ones. And I didn’t have to dig through 49 decorative pillows and shams and runners to find the damn bed..

By the time I settle in, most of the restaurants have closed, except an expensive looking one (sound familiar?). Apart from that, there's just a boardwalk canteen open. They're about to close up, but the woman behind the counter made me a hot dog. I found that very hospitable.

After eating this very tasty hot dog, I head to the pool. It's very pleasant, and I find someone to talk to. Sharing the hot tub with me is a very nice Polish family from Chicago. The hotel staff is nice enough to not enforce the pool closing time (we weren't bothering anyone, after all), so we trade travel stories for an hour or so. They are also headed for Yellowstone, as it turns out.